Well, the party kicked off when Berty and I arrived in NYC... made perfect timing on every stop of the way... it's almost as if the stars were aligning...
After a brief meeting with Dave's friends from Guelph, nee Stratford (Mark and Ryan), we grabbed a slice of pizza from Village Pizza. We were instantly known as "the Canadians", and were served up vodka and orange (or cranberry), at no charge! We also decided to buy some golden grahams (a very prodigious idea indeed), milk, beer and power bars, we then proceeded back to Orr's apartment for some power drinking!
We watched the Oasis DVD (which brought back many memories from jolly o' England and "fuckin' in the bushes"), drank some Korean root juice, and of course, the obligatory Absinthe! (See attached photo for proof) It was then we were ready to take a bite out of the Big Apple!
Heading over to the swanky Arabian bar "Kush", we proceeded to smoke apricot flavoured tobacco from a hooka (I'm not joking), drink Lemon Drop shots, and Mohitos (a very strong drink that is flavoured with crushed mint leaves).
It was there we met up with many of Davey's friends including his new crush, the ever-stylish Sara. We headed over to Red Rock, but the atmosphere was lacking compared to last year's efforts...
http://davidcwood.com/nyc/
(Although, perhaps no night of debauchery in history will ever compare to what happened last year at Red Rock - and it was all captured on 1.5 rolls of film courtesy of our good friend Kevin Vigar)
We went home a little dejected, but not so much as when the chicks decided to chat it up in the kitchen all night, meanwhile the gents were trying to get some shuteye.
The next morning Orr woke at the ass-crack of dawn, and headed off to work, meanwhile the Gents (and Sara) slept in until 11 o'clock. Sara fled the scene; meanwhile the gents took a rousing tour of the financial district and the harbour tour on a ferry.
We walked back to Canal St., where I purchased a Samuel L. Jackson cap. Next we walked through little Italy where I bought some (fake) Gucci Sunglasses. We were ready for what the night had in store, so we headed back to the apartment.
We were at the apartment for barely five minutes when Orr walked in, tired and dejected with the monkeys he is forced to work with. We said it would all get better soon, and proceeded to drink ourselves to oblivion (finishing off two bottles of absinthe) before heading out.
We arrived at Neil's house party (but not before snacking on some more pizza - another ingenious idea), and by that time the night was approaching full swing.
On the rooftop, we could watch fireworks going off in three of the five burroughs... everything had that warm and magical feeling to it (or perhaps that was just the absinthe talking). Berty and I began to wander the roof, singing that song that no one really knows the words to, we found a few pot smokers, a man who gave up a fine Cuban cigar (unsmoked), and a girl snorting coke off a credit card (I'm not joking).
Heading back downstairs we collected our coats, and met some fine MILFs outside the lobby. Two of the three were game, but the third gave veto power, and summoned their fine (but old) looking friends to a cab.
Next we headed over to "Faces and Names", seemingly neither mattered on this night as we walked through this classy establishment, and proceeded to have a few more pints. That is, everyone except for myself, who promptly took a seat next to two large cows on a couch.
The next thing I know, its 3 o'clock in the morning, I'm overheating in my jacket, but too drunk to take it off (I neglected to do this when I came in the bar). I know I'm going "brew up a stew", so I grab the nearest pint glass and fill it to the brim. I'm going again, so I grab a full pint, dump it, and proceed to fill that one too. At this point Berty (and half the bar) have noticed what is going on, so he helps me to my feet, and tries to escort me to the bathroom. Trouble is, neither of us know where the bathroom is!!
We go behind a curtain, and end up in a mini-kitchen... There is a man already hunched over the garbage can, so I follow his lead. Luckily, this was the perfect place to clean up, with towels and a sink I could rinse my mouth out in.
At this point, a waiter escorts me to the door, Orr gives me cab money and the keys to the apartment. On the street, the cabbie had the doors locked until I agreed to the $20 fare. Knowing I only had about $13 on me, I grabbed two other girls and we were off to the races.
I apologized to the girls for the smell, as "some asshole" puked on me at the bar. Getting out of the cab, I made it to the apartment and passed out watching E!Wild-on, although it would be later proven that it was the home shopping network.
The gents returned and passed out (all except Berty) who had managed to find a "face and name" for himself. Just as I was trying to drift off to sleep at 6am (among the chirping of the birds), Berty rings the buzzer, and me being the nice gentleman that I am, I let him in.
Berty, you have some 'splanin' to do!
